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Fugue State [JCINK]
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Jcink Move!
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Better Off Dead (Tabby)
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keeping up with the- (cartwrights)
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  • by Cherry Darling Tue Sep 29, 2020 12:52 pmPermalink
    Ever since that day when Cherry found out that Louis' sister didn't like her at all, she began pushing just about everyone away. She felt so much guilt for possibly tainting Louis now that her salacious past was well-known. He was a good guy. He was pure, benign, and one you wouldn't want to corrupt. Why did it feel as if she did just that? Cherry truly didn't mean to be such a bad influence, yet it seemed as if she was.

    She didn't want to damage his relationship with his family by existing, yet Cherry couldn't bring herself to try and let him go. Never had she ever felt so attached to someone, and it was hitting her hard. She was thankful that Narkissos always seemed to have her back even when it didn't seem obvious. Cherry wanted to avoid making a scene, so she found herself camping with him and his family so she at least wasn't lonely or stuck with her own family.

    When she got in these moods, Cherry got self-destructive and avoidant. She didn't want to burden anybody. She didn't want anybody to have to deal with her, yet Narkissos was willingly sitting beside her making sure she didn't hurt herself.

    "Cherry, you're getting my shoulder a bit too wet." Narkissos was using napkins to try and dry it out after she had lifted her head off him. "Why don't you write your feelings on a piece of paper and set it on fire?"

    He was genuinely trying to help, but she was too deep in her thoughts to really take it in.

    She was dirty. She was tainted. Who would want to be with a girl with such a high body count? Maybe her parents were right. Never have sex before marriage or you'll be a used candy wrapper. She felt like a used candy wrapper.

    Taking a drag of a cigarette, Cherry took a few deep breaths. It'll be okay. No, it won't.

    Louis didn't have any ill-feeling towards her past, but her insecurities couldn't help but wonder if he only said that to make her feel better. He never said bad of anybody. She had a temper when pushed. He always smiled. How many times has she ever genuinely smiled?

    "How about we get some fresh air? My mum doesn't want the tent smelling of cigarette smoke."

    She shook her head. She didn't want to go out. She didn't want anybody to see her like this.

    "You can't keep avoiding things. You have to confront them at some point."

    Why did that feel so difficult to do? It sounded simple on paper, but she couldn't bring herself to.

    "I will drag you out onto a ride if it means I see a smile."

    Cherry didn't want to go anywhere. She wanted to avoid everything.

    "It hurts me to see you like this."

    Yet she couldn't bring herself to look at him. Or Louis. Or anybody for that manner.

    "You're fine the way you are."

    She had a hard time believing that.

    "There is nothing wrong with you."

    Everything was wrong with her. Why couldn't he see that?

    "Stop avoiding him."
    Cherry Darling
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